Whod you bang
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
