Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Randomize
