Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
