eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
