"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
