No, you can still breathe under the balls.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
