Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Couch. On fire.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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