Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
