she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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