So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
