so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize