I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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