Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
well you can't waste a boner
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
