Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
