So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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