I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
