Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
