She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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