We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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