8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
