thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
