it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i wish my penis had a tongue
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
