margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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