Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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