all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
