Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
