Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
