I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
