she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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