i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
My penis needs a shock collar
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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