can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
how do you play pong handcuffed?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
