omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize