Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize