I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
