Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
