I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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