So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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