All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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