He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
