so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
