I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
