We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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