so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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