I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I looked at my own cervix.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
