You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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