Me too!
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
