He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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