Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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