I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
