I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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