Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
