Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Is Oprah even human
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize