Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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