Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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