you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
handjob tips. give me some.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I want to fling myself into the sun
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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