New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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