Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
