I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
