New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize