so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
no. you can't hotbox the world.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
party gras won. party gras always wins.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
