SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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