Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Come share oat with me in your robe
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
