I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
