I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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