Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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