I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
